Monday, January 7, 2008

An Outlet

It's all building up again
These feelings
And thoughts
When I'm around people
Distracted from my mind
I'm safe
But when I'm alone
They take over
It's not as bad as it could be
But still
I get really rash during these moments
I'm prepared to do whatever I think it will take
To get things off my mind
Maybe this is a safer way of doing it

Dear God
Or whatever higher power
Or being
There is out there
Please
If you have the time
And the means
Let him know I'm sorry
I ruined his life for months
The true extent of it
I know not
But what I do know
Or have heard
Makes me feel bad
It was so long ago
But I just can't get rid of that feeling
Of how much of his life I might have taken away
So please let him know I'm sorry
I still want to be friends
Really good friends
Even though the uncertain is coming
I hope we don't drift apart completely
I love him
Not in love with him
I simply love him
It is possible

Yes, I believe in love
Why shouldn't I?
I don't understand why anybody wouldn't
I can't imagine living without it
Even if I can't describe what it is.

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