Blindly Happy

I'm really happy
But I'm not sure why.

Already I've fallen asleep three times in class
Staying up late for homework will have that effect
Why does that make me happy?

It get me some attention, I know
Attention that I want
That I need
To feel like I'm making a difference
Or at least an impression
It banishes that fear of being nothing
Never noticed
Never remembered
It seems like that fear has driven me in many ways
To do things I've done
To make the choices that I've made.

Then there's always the people I know
Some don't help, of course
In fact, they do the opposite
But the others make up for them
People who hug me when I'm down
People who can cheer me up, even when they don't know
How much I need to be cheered up
They give me an escape
Out of my own mind.